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Episode 1. Can the CrUSAders save Rochelle Carrie from the International Solidarity Movement?

Episode 2. Marphisa's origin. How she escaped being murdered by her terrorist brother and how she acquired her powers.



The CrUSAders Comic Strip
American Superheroes Battle the Menace of Islamofascism
(This is not just entertainment; the stories are full with news excerpts that prove that the Islamofascist villains' behavior is modeled on actual Islamofascist behavior.)

The Heroes

Chuck Hammer, Protestant-American. Note that "Martel" is Frankish for "Hammer." His great-great-godfather was General Charles Gordon, "Khartoum Pasha," who died while defending Khartoum against the Mahdi's Islamofascist horde, and his great-grandfather rode with Winston Churchill to avenge Gordon at Omdurman.

Kay Fir, Jewish-American. (Kay Fir as in Kafir, an infidel).

InfiDog, Canine-American and Infidel Dog. InfiDog's ultra-sensitive hearing and smell will often detect enemy plots as well as explosive devices. He likes to catch and throw things like balls, frisbees, and Islamofascists.



Marphisa, Muslim-American. She is named after a heroine of the legends of Charlemagne who was presumably, like her brother Rogero, raised as a Muslim. She had to flee her own country after her family ordered her to choose between becoming a suicide bomber and being stoned to death for "adultery." What she doesn't tell her friends at the American university where she is now a student is that she also found a genie bottle whose occupant planned to kill her as soon as she let him out. Upon outwitting and subduing the treacherous Palestinian genie, she compelled him to give her his superhuman abilities in return for her freedom.

Buck Sobieski, Catholic-American. Buck Sobieski rides a Buck Rogers-type rocket sled with four speed settings: Walk, Trot, Gallop, and Charge. His name is also a play on Sobieskibucks, as in King John Sobieski's coffee house.
As Assistant Professor of Materials Science Jan Wolodyjowski, he is proud of telling people how his grandfather fought the Nazis and how his father marched with Lech Walesa to free Poland from Soviet oppression. Poland has, like the United States, always stood for freedom.
His proud ancestry goes back much further, though; he is the descendent of Henryk Sienkiewicz's hero Jerzy Michael Wolodyjowski, "the Little Knight" who was one of the best swordsmen who ever lived-- and who died while defending the fortress of Kamenets against an Islamofascist horde. ("The CrUSAders" takes the liberty of assuming that Colonel Wolodyjowski's wife Basia became pregnant before her husband was killed.)
Although he lacks superhuman powers, his work with ultra-strong nanomaterials has enabled him to develop almost-invulnerable armor. The Polish sabre he inherited from his renowned ancestor was already designed as one of the finest cutting instruments on earth and, after having its edge hardened with modern steel-treating processes, it will cut through practically anything.


The Villains
  • Shadowy international financier and convicted inside trader George Soros seeks to undermine the United States
  • Jabba the Moore (Michael Moore) calls the insurgents who are murdering American soldiers in Iraq "Minutemen"
  • The International Solidarity Movement
  • The Presbyterian Church USA
  • The Harkonnens, excuse me, Saudis, who are taking over the U.S. news media to promote Wahabism in the U.S.
  • John Kerry (recently accused U.S. troops of Gestapo-like tactics in Iraq)

The Seventy-Two Virgins

The following animation will appear whenever a terrorist is killed, thus showing that he has gotten his one-on-one meeting with Allah and his seventy-two virgins.
Seventy-two virgins
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